Honoring Our Mom-Dectomy Day

Yesterday, I did a great Instagram Live interview with my tattoo artist from California who did my first Goddess/Tantra tattoo of Kwan Yin on my arm in San Diego which sealed in another major awakening and shift in my life journey. This was back in 2013. Since then, both of us have evolved in our art, writing, public speaking and work as wounded healers. I wanted to talk with Forrest Lang again on Mother's Day because he was someone I knew whose story of parental abuse and neglect is sad and shocking but makes his journey to greatness that much more impressive. I knew that Forrest had recently done a "Mom-Dectomy" a spiritual cord cutting from a biological mother, which I had also recently done with both of my parents, and other family members. The term Parent-dectomy comes from Pete Walker's great Surviving PTSD book which has been the guidebook for many survivors and those that have facilitated their healing. Sometimes, it is necessary to break ties with those that only wish to keep you stuck. Walker's book even says that it can be the last and most difficult thing that a lot of survivors need to do to heal. Sometimes, of course, it isn't so easy to walk from abuse. Understanding and diagnosing Complex PTSD often takes a very long time because it hides in your denial and looks a lot like other mental illnesses and symptoms. I didn't discover my own CPTSD until the age of 44, but I had symptoms that I can recognize were from early abandonment trauma from my caretakers since I was 13 when I was able to retrospectively notice it. It is NEVER too late to find out and reclaim your life and free yourself from toxic belief systems that were NOT YOURS but GIVEN TO YOU. You can even physically move away and still be enslaved by your parental programming if you are still engaged spiritually. Spiritual cords can stretch across the internet and across continents, so it is very important to do rituals and clear cord cuttings to free yourself. Family holidays can be tough for neglected and abused adult children. The abandonment trauma from your caretakers is imprinted and is something that will probably never leave you. It becomes embedded in your subconscious and everything that you do until you release yourself from its grasp will be a trauma response and most likely a shit show until you realize why.

My decision to get my love puppy/Service Dog in Training was how I learned and cracked open my subconscious codes. So this Mother's Day meant celebrating being a proud Dog Mom and hard working Service Dog in Training handler of 6 months! (she is now 11 months old!) I get to constantly make parenting decisions raising my girl and the rewards are the love, kisses and cuddling but also you get to see the results of your positive and non violent reinforcement training on your emotional animal who is nourished and reflects the training tasks that you work together to learn. This is why it has been important for me to make Satori my Service Dog. If she were just my pet dog, I wouldn't have motivation to train her nor would I get the effect of relational healing and healing from abandonment trauma by having her in my care 24/7. Suddenly, I had the ability to become a mom myself, and be responsible for shaping a living loving being OR messing up someone's life if I did it wrong. I get to do all the things my mom never did for me and not do the things that I saw my parents do and actually be in choice about it!

Humans can't move that quickly if we want to make a baby; some of us missed that boat or already had children and may not have been able to work on these issues with them because you didn't know what to work on. This is why I recommend training your own service dog to other survivors who want to see results faster than therapy and before they ruin their next relationship. www.instagram.com/tantratokyolovehawaii